Maybe

I don’t want to talk ‘cause I don’t know what to say.
I wanna write cause that’s all I fucking do.
I wanna be loved but I don’t know how to love.
That paralises me. It chokes me, it closes my troat in a second
It freezes the tears, the eyes it gets hard to breathe.
That’s what’s happening right now. I’m writting what’s happening right now, like a script of my own life, a script of my colapses, mostly.
You know what’s my problem?
I’m livving inside a cage, inside a vicious cicle.
And I can’t wait to get out of it.
But I don’t know how.
I can’t be the person I want to be in this cage …maybe it aint the cage, maybe I just can’t seem to find the key.
Maybe I should.. no that’s rediculous I can’t write comedy… congrats for those who do! You must be so much happier and ligther than me or maybe even more repressed …well I don’t know…
Maybe I could write comedy if I wasn’t colapsing or the world weren’t colapsing
I don’t know, maybe I just…
Maybe I just got dark and you know maybe now my comedy sucks
You can always laugh at my disaster
That usually works we all laughed when Jason Statham killed that guy with fishhook or something, I didn’t at first but then I heard so many people laughing that I also did. I laughed at their laugh.
Well, F.R.I.E.N.D.S make me laugh.
It’s a great show.
Who am I talking to?
Is there anybody reading?
No?
Good.
Once you read it is yours. So technically this is a gift! Go ahead, read it. Make it yours, rewrite between the lines, rewrite it in your mind, make a film out of it.
Go ahead, take my gift to you. Make it yours.
It makes no good on my notes, right?
I mean I can laugh about it later.. maybe show my friends… “Look what I wrote, one more tone of white on my hospital room walls…”
Maybe I’ll cry reading it later, when I’m trying to organize my notes and I find this and I can’t remenber when or why I wrote it.
Maybe I’ll cry reading it. Like I did writing it.
Hey maybe not I just endup smilling while reading it, I’m not quit sure why, but I did.
lol, have a good day bye. I just ruin the whole thing didn’t it?
I’m just kinda losing it these days. Anyways don’t mind me just dropping the crisis of the day.
I Promise I’ll bring you something less depressing later.
Who am I fooling?
No I will, I will.
Just wait until I meet a decent man, then I will, that’s gonna take a while problably, you can sit while you wait.
But I will come back with something a little less depressing, I promisse.